Starting Primary School | Parents discuss the transition from nursery to reception

How have the first weeks at school been for our 4-year-old and for us as parents? This is the one where Emma and Elliot chat about adapting to the new routine of school, how it's different from nursery, the challenges and joys, tips and advice for a smooth transition, graduating pre-school, and stories from the first days and weeks of reception. In particular, how we've coped, and how Lilly has coped. Plus sharing our approach to Fridays, where we do part-time homeschooling (part-time before Compulsory School Age in the UK) and the activities we've done so far on our day off. Have you heard the rumour? It's our best episode yet!!

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Unwind on sleepless nights to a wholesome mix of parenting stories, quirky humour, and cosy crafting. We’re not here to provide answers but to share our experiences, explore how parenting has changed, and build an online community of parents for mutual support.

A fun, honest and unscripted conversation between Emma and Elliot on non-judgemental parenting and millennial-based topics, as we relax on an evening attempting an artistic or creative activity. 

We are a project in partnership with The Kairos Movement and supported by The Methodist Church, of which The Kairos Movement is a part

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction
• 2:00 Parenting Achievements
• 6:00 Leaving Nursery
• 19:38 First day of School
• 27:45 Adjusting to School
• 45:00 Part-time Homeschool Fridays
• 51:30 Stories, fails, tips & advice
• 1:04:30 Ending

Transcript

 So Emma, what are we talking about today? Today we're talking about, uh, starting school.

Welcome back everyone to the Crippen household, ready for some more conversation about parenting. This is the introduction where we introduce the podcast. You join us in the playground on a warm, sunny September morning, sat with the parents on a little stonewall and we can chat all about how our experiences have been.

Yeah, where's that? You ha fail to include. My little mug with me. Oh, right as you're setting the scene. Yeah. With my hot chocolate. Very good. All mock because you know I've been stealing. Mm-hmm. Daddy's ones. If you don't know, we normally talk about babies and toddlers. Um, our eldest is four. Yeah. And has just started school in reception.

This is gonna be episode all about that. My name is Elliot and I. Was that the little shy, dyslexic boy who didn't enjoy school? Um, hi Emma. I was gonna say I went to a small village school. I didn't know you were gonna interpret it as in like, how we dealt with school. Um, and I, I loved school. I also went with three of my sisters, so it probably helped a lot.

But yeah, I, I loved school probably. Up until secondary school. I did not love it then, but I, it was less good for me. I didn't ask for an essay. It was just an anecdote. But primary school liked right there. Now there's a rumor going around. This is gonna be our best episode yet. Have you heard this rumor?

Rumor I think we should crack on with the episode. That's, that was the introduction.

Ba bing, bda bing. It's parenting Achievement time. Parenting achievement. Down little segment before we, uh, kick off where we just like to share a fail story or a relatable moment, A funny story. Just, uh, you know, to set the scene, I think the most memorable one happened yesterday. Oh, what was that? When we had to frog Marly through the streets as she shouted the top of her lungs.

I don't like walking. We knew she was tired. We originally, we'd started out being like, oh, we're not gonna go out today. It's too much work. And then we're like, oh, we'll go to the little charity shop with a cafe. Got there closed. We promised we were gonna go to the shops. We're like, all right, we'll go into town.

And we knew she was on like dodgy ground already. She'd been a bit of a mood all morning. She did okay. We got her some shoes, blah, blah, blah. Mainly there for Lola stuff for an nursery. Got out of Primark. She wanted to be carried. I was like, I'm carrying Lola on my back carrier. Anyway, completely lost it.

She was basically screaming and shouting as we kind of had an arm to marching her along, being like, don't like walking. I don't like walking, but re like you, unless you were there really, really loud and like teary. Mm. It was hilarious that she's like marching along as she's walking, screaming. I don't let walking.

We did, we weren't the most sympathetic parents. We kept laughing at each other and trying to look a bit serious. But after that I was like, I'm done with today. Mm-hmm. Like I had, it's been a recurring thing. We've had a lot of similar stories. This is probably the worst she's kicked off, but like, since starting school, we, we should clarify.

It's currently getting towards the end of September. So she's been in for three, three and a half weeks. Three and a half weeks. Yeah. Um, at school. And like one of the things that we'll get on to talk about is how like, behavior outside of school has gone downhill a bit. 'cause she's just like exhausted.

She's just exhausted. It's been all new stuff. It's, it is taken it out of her and so it's been really hard for her to Yeah. She has less tolerance for like doing other stuff. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Sounds are nice. Weekend. Lovely. Lovely time. Lovely time. I also thought we should mention, um, I do wanna do a whole episode on this, uh, soon in the future, but just to recap, um, a week ago we had a lovely week where we all came down with a sickness bug.

Oh yeah. Um, which is why this episode is coming out later than we hoped. We wanted to do it kind of fairly early in September to, you know, didn't happen is when it live, live as things were happening. But we were delayed because we, yeah. The sickness bug just went through all of us. The thing that's probably quite relatable, where one person comes down who's sick, and then like the baby's sick and then the toddler is sick, and then parenting while you're also being ill.

So like every day a different person was ill person Yeah. Down. Yeah. And then like, well, you are ill, you're still like, you're like sleeping on a floor with a bucket to drive. Just Oh. Like I took the baby to a and e at one point. Yeah. Because we were very worried about her. Yeah. It was just all going on.

Mm-hmm. Not a fun week. No. Oh, off work, off school. Just, no, I, I made my mom laugh. I was like, I didn't realized how good our life was before the sickness bug. Now I'm like, oh, Bon, we could go back to that nice mediocre life before, just the normal chaos of life. Normal chaos. Not this added level of chaos there.

No one throwing up. Nobody being worried about anyone being ill. Oh, was it life nicer back then? Oh yeah. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So look, put it this way, we're not looking forward to the winter season. Yeah. It's full of bugs. Just, yeah, Lola starting nursery, so yeah. Yeah. So double bug school and nursery.

Just, yeah. Anyway, if any of these stories, uh, resonate or are relatable, do let us know or send in your own parenting fails or funny stories you have. Um, we'd love to hear them and we can share them on the podcast, um, if we remember to, which we're often very terrible at doing, but we might, we, we might.

There is a chance if we're organized. Yeah.

Let the baby sleep a bit longer. Don't wake them up just yet. And let's get chatting about our topic for today. Which is starting school. Starting school. We should clarify, uh, if you are new here that you know, we're not experts, we're not people who can give you advice on the best way to do this, or we're just normal parents.

Uh, we chat about our experiences and share some of the struggles and joys of Yeah, this particular thing that we've gone through recently. What have, have you got on your notes? So it's start with, so like the last week at nursery? Yes. So was kind of like the buildup towards, so we, we'd done the helpful thing, which was keep Lily nursery over the holidays because I thought to take her over the summer.

You've got a long time before then you start school and it kind of really puts you outta a routine of going somewhere. I think that was helpful. Step one was keep her in. It almost became like a lot of her friends left before her, which you would think was bad, but was good in a way because I think. She had a big thing about, oh, it was so-and-so's last day yesterday, and it's gonna be my last day next week.

And it almost became like a rite of passage 'cause all her friends had done their last days. Mm. And a lot of her friends had moved on. She was like, oh, well I have to move on. Yeah. Like, I have to go to big school. This what happens. I, and this is something that's gonna be very different for everyone, isn't it?

Mm. 'cause obviously we know all sorts of different circumstances. Some people who've never been to nursery before. Yeah. On a starting school. Some people who like us have, uh, you know, their children have been in nursery since like really little. Mm. And whatever. And some people are, are all year round nursery.

Some people are just term time. So you'll have the summer off. Yeah. Um, which is a big gap to then. It is a big gap. Could you just stop and then start again? Um, for us, we're all year round and like you say, yeah. It was helpful. Having people disappear slow. It wasn't like just one day everything stopped.

Yeah. And she was like, well, I'll never see those people again. Yeah. It was sort of like you got that chance to say goodbye to individual friends. Yeah. One at a time as people disappeared. Yeah. And it's helpful. And her best friend does ballet and they still go to the same class. So I was, it was helpful to go like, oh, you're not, not gonna see your best friend again.

You're still gonna go to this class together. You'll still be friends. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah. And our nursery were really good actually about trying to prepare the kids for school. Yeah. They were. And like trying to just help in all sorts of ways with what, what they might expect, what things they might need to do.

And I think they're done a lot of talks about, what are you scared about for school? What are you excited for with school? Mm-hmm. And they did things like training them to line up and like have PE kits and just get used to that kind of routine. Um, which I think was really good actually at nursery. Yeah.

Yeah. This episode's gonna be super long if we focus too much on this, but like there was, the whole nursery did a great job. Yeah. I mean there's a whole, um, like graduation from nursery as well, which, oh yeah, that was really nice as well. It was fun. I mean, I'm never quite sure what I think like it's a bit silly.

I didn, but I actually really enjoyed it. I just, and I found it quite like, oh, it's nice. Yeah. But I think, 'cause Lily's been at her nursery. Basically since one. Yeah. Um, it's a big step for her leaving the nursery. Mm-hmm. Because we've got so comfortable with it and she's loved it so much. Yeah. It's kind of a big deal for us.

Yeah. Like that, that's almost more emotional, like leaving nursery than starting school. School. Yeah. I felt that. Um, and then I kept being like, oh, I'm glad Lola's gonna start. So we'll still be at the nursery again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going back with our, with her sibling at the same nursery only a few months later she's starting.

So yeah. It's not goodbye forever. But yeah, I just like, as a concept, I'm never quite sure it is a bit like American and a bit silly to have like graduations for kids. I thought that loved. I don I don't really agree with it. I loved it. Yeah. We'll disagree. Yeah. I used to think that it was a nice time, but when I went there, I really enjoyed it.

Yeah. I thought it made them feel special. Sometimes it's a bit too much. Okay. I think this shows a different style personality. I like to celebrate everything. I'm just a grumpy old man. Yeah. Lily does currently call him old man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So side point, but, we'll, right. Let's try to, let's try and get into the school bit then.

Um, so that's nursery. I'm gonna say what I tried to do to get prepared for school. Yes. I've got that on my list. Yeah, go on there. Um, so I got a book about like, children going to school and I, I, well I got two books. I can't remember what one of them is called. One of them was called Invisible Strength.

Invisible Strength. People recommended that one. My only problem is, and I'm sorry if you're American, but it is American, so I have to reword it 'cause it calls me like Mom instead of mom. Um. It was really good at like describing a thing of wherever you go, you are connected and you're loved. And um, I liked that book.

It was a good one to try and emphasize like, doesn't matter where you are, we're still always connected. I don't think it's as big a change for her 'cause obviously she goes to nursery, but yeah, I thought she'll be feeling a bit more vulnerable 'cause it's new place. Yeah, we did, did a lot of role playing, a lot of roleplay.

I mean this occurs quite naturally with us, with Lily 'cause she loves to role play, does things that she's experiencing in life. Yeah. Um, but as the more we talked about it, the more that in her game she would like to play pretend going to school and like we would pretend to be teachers and like, or like we'd have her dolls like Elsa and Ana and they had to go to school and Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So that was really helpful I think for helping her. Yeah, understand. Um, and then we got another book, I can't remember it's called, but it was just about kids going to school. So she'd be like, oh, they put their coat on a peg and like, just to kind of get her used to the idea of what school is.

Mm-hmm. One thing I would say that we didn't do very well, which, well, I dunno, I mean maybe it helped, maybe I, it is not great parenting, is that we did do quite a lot of rewards. Oh yeah. Like in this kind of period, you, you know, we realize it's a big change in upheaval for Lily. Yeah. And we are trying to help her, you know, and make her feel loved and like mm-hmm.

Just support her through it. Like it is quite a difficult, it is all new and different. Exciting. Yeah. And so we did like. Give her quite a lot of treats. Yeah, that's true. And like we bought her presents like for all sorts of little things and for starting school, she got presents after her first day of school.

True. She got like a magazine and like, what was it the night before you let her sleep in your bed. Oh yeah. Yeah. So like there was all sorts of stuff like that. I think I try, we were trying to emphasize like, I don't know, like make the most of last few days with her and stuff. I was gonna say what else we did is like we.

I say we mommy. Uh, like I chose a book bag that I was like, she'll really like, so it's kind of like a Maro color and it's got a ballerina on and we all went to get her school uniform. Yeah. We tried to make everything exciting. Yeah. So it wasn't like scary or different. It was like, oh, let's go get a uniform.

Won't it be fun? Let's get a book bag that you really like. So that she was really excited to use it, like stuff like that to kind of make it. Exciting. Yeah. And not like, oh, you've turned up and this happens to be what you've going again, if you're not a long time listener and you're not familiar with our kids.

Lily, we were a bit concerned because she's someone who loves, um, like personal appearance. Appearance, fashion. What's the expression? Self-expression. Self-expression. That's the word I was looking for. Um, she loves wearing princess dresses. Mm-hmm. She loves color, she loves doing her hair and makeup. Makeup.

Yeah. And so we were kind of loves having a nail done. A bit concerned about how she would deal with school where it's all very uniform. She has to wear certain clothes. Yeah. She can't have her nails and her hair and how she likes. Yeah. So that's why we put a lot of effort into some of these things to make it seem exciting because we were a bit nervous about how she would adapt.

And we knew there was no point in buying any trousers because she's such a girly girl. She just refuses to wear trousers really. At all. So, um, unless they're under a dress. So we've just gone for dresses, which I think was the right decision. 'cause she does like her dresses, but I remember like lots of the parents, well, are you getting any trousers?

I was like, well no, but that's not like a practical thing. It's just because I know my child won't wear those In this period over the summer, that kind of transition from nursery to school, what did happen? Well happened for us anyway. We can talk about, this is the kind of taster days. Yes. Yeah. Um, which you went to.

Do you wanna explain how they worked? Oh, so the first one, um, I went with her and you just, um, kind of looked on the classrooms, had a bit of a play. Um, and I think she had two more after that. So she was quite a good taste there. I think there was sort of like a parent's evening type one where you, you kind of just went to meet, well there was one parent evening where it was just me went.

Yeah. And you just got to meet the head teacher and the staff and just, they'd talk about what skills they would hope the child would have when they started and what, you know, what to expect and what you need to send in with them and everything. And then the second one I went to, you could bring your child with you and you could kind of look around the setting and Yeah.

Familiar as helpful, familiarize the child with that. And those two were both, they're distinct from. You know, an official taster day. Yeah, yeah. Which we did also have. Yeah. Which was a day for Lily to go in. Yeah. Just for a, um, but she had two of those, I'm pretty sure. Well, I think there was three altogether, like three times she'd been in the school before she started.

Okay. Um, but that time, that first taster, um, like we were very surprised. We barely got a look into Oh yeah. She went straight down the steps. She held the teacher's hand and went straight in the building. Yeah. Didn't even say goodbye. Didn't look back. We were stood there like, uh oh. Oh, this isn't like you, we'd expected more of an emotional goodbye, Lily.

Yeah. See you. No, just went. I'm sure it was only for a couple of hours. It wasn't her first day of school, but like, I mean, it boded Well, it did, yeah. For starting school, but we were very surprised we were, and then I felt bad because other parents were lingering and saying goodbye. I was like, my kid's gone.

Yeah. Yeah. Do I, do I linger? I was like, well, like I can't really, she's not, she's not. Come back to look at me like I better just go. We've got plenty of friends at other schools who weren't offered any tasty days. No. We have a couple of friends who the school said there was gonna be tad days and there never was.

Um, and another one where I think they got one afternoon, but it was only one chance. So you couldn't make that one. You couldn't do it. Yeah. Um, so our school was actually quite good in giving you two day options and doing it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, through all this story we've been very impressed with our school and we're, we're very happy with where she's ended up.

Um, so yeah, great stuff, but. It is interesting hearing stories from other moms and dads experiences at other schools. And we hear a lot about a range of different schools. Yeah. Because all her friends from nursery have gone to, I all gone to different schools, gone to different schools. Very few of them have gone to the same schools.

True. And not many of her friends from nursery have come with her to this school. No. So that, that was an, an interesting challenge. We've got your friends who you met up with before school. Oh yes. Yeah. I don't know, maybe not mention them by name, but, but you could talk about, so beforehand somebody had put on Facebook, her mom was saying like, um, her little boy's starting school, he's never been to nursery.

Um, they're fairly new to the area, could anyone, and she put, she was going to the same school as Lily and um, because they anyone wanna meet up for a play date. So I messaged and I was like, my little girl's going, let's meet up. And it's really nice 'cause now they're really good little friends at school.

And I think we made up for a couple of play dates. And yeah, they, they hit it off with little bodies. It be nice story. Yeah. I think it's a really good, it's a good idea. Idea. If, if you want a piece of advice, then trying to, yeah. Do you like that? Like ask on Facebook? Yeah. Friends, yeah. Reach out publicly.

See if you can find another parent with a kid going is quite handy. She's friends, quite close friends now with the two children who went to nursery with it, but they're on the same class. Yeah. And this, uh, other little boy is, so it's just now got a nice little friend in a class automatically. At least, you know, particularly in that first couple of weeks, you've got someone who you know, I mean, it does depend how, you know, our, our children seem to make friends very quickly.

Yes, true. Yeah. So even after a couple of play dates, they were quite comfortable. They were quite comfortable with each other. And then on the first day of school, like they could recognize each other. Yeah. All this will vary massively depending on what your child is like. So, you know, whatever. Yeah. But so it worked quite well.

It was, it worked a good idea. And I know like most days when I talk to, they've sat and had lunch together, so they seem like good little pals. Yeah. Yeah. I think that probably brings us to the first day of school, unless there's anything else before that you want to talk about. No, I think that's it. No, so that brings me to my big pet peeve.

Oh no. The big thing. Well, a lot of parents said like, so we get hit September. We're like, okay, we're starting school. She doesn't start till Wednesday. Doesn't start till Wednesday. Wednesday. Yeah. What do men do on Monday and Tuesday?

I know other parents had it worse, so friends that didn't start till Thursday. Thursday. Yeah. I'm like, that's half, that's most of the week gone. I remember thinking there's no point starting on Thursday. And some people I know they have like half days for two weeks before they start properly. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So it'd be really fascinating to know how it worked for you if you're listening to this. Yeah. But for us, we went straight in probably 'cause we had all those days that they gave us. Yeah, yeah. Um, that we went straight in, full time from the get go. Yeah. A lot of schools, uh, we know, you know, a lot of friends we have, they have staggered starts.

Yeah. Sometimes ridiculous. Like up to like two weeks worth of Yeah, yeah. Like various patterns of Yeah. Which I think if anything's just more confusing near the end. Yeah. Because the child will have no clue how long they say they're at all. And I get they're trying to make the adjustment easy. Yeah.

Easier for children. And maybe if you've never been to nursery, yes, that is helpful, but how are you gonna work? Yeah. So like, and then you're like, would you take heart most of the week off? Yeah. Like. Yeah. I, I don't think we mentioned actually, but you know, the same thing really applies to those taster days where, again, very odd hours if you are working.

Yeah. How are you meant to take them? Right. So the morning of Yes. First day of school. Oh yeah. Um, Lily was up at the cracker of door. Oh. Frank side. Um, I've got down here five 30. She was up very eager. Basically wanted to leave the house straight away. Oh yeah. It was really hard keeping her in. I made her like a little banner.

Yeah. Saying first day. This was 'cause the night before I felt guilty that we weren't doing much. I remember afterwards everybody went, oh, what a lovely idea. And I was like, that was done in the dead of night. Yeah. 'cause I was like, we haven't done anything. We haven't made a perfect, so I made little bammer on like the fireplace she took pictures with.

Yeah. She was so excited though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To get her bag on and everything. Yeah. A little sentimental thing. I, a sentimental thing. I was just like, it's first day of school. I was like, oh, it's a big, it's the first day I feel like I'm not very sentimental. Yeah. I was like, other people do special stuff.

We should do so special. Um, yeah. But she was very excited. She was quite happy with the banner actually as well. Yeah. Yeah, she's insisting though Lola has to have one for her first day of no nursery, so I'm gonna have to make another one of them. Could you not reuse the banner? We keep it. No, she told me it had to be a different one.

Oh. Because I asked at the time, I said, can we use this one? That'd be nice. 'cause in my head I was going, I could, could says first day to say Of what? Yeah. Um, and she's like, no, Lola has to have her own band. We did do the typical thing where we took first day photos. Oh, we did? Yeah. Um, again, as per my nursery comment, I'm a bit like, ah, it's a thing everyone does.

I'm not sure I like doing it. I like to buck the tread. I feel like it's a silly sort thing, but it's nice to look back on, see how they've grown and everything. Year. Um, I was happier. We took some like nice. You know, photos? Mm-hmm. I think part of it is 'cause it's so staged. I don't like, I'm not quite sure what I don't like about it.

There's something kind of just a bit cringey. I dunno, she's just a grumpy, a grumpy grum. But, uh, yeah, we took some nice photos of her in her uniform. Mm-hmm. Um, we did get one in the end outside the door. Yeah. Um, and then I took her to school, which I know maybe surprising you, it's the rhythm that we Yeah.

Wanted to follow and that we did always did for nursery that I did drop off and you did pick up. So we thought we'd just do the same. Um, but I dunno, uh, maybe surprising mums tend to like, do, were you, did you want to do drop off? Did you like not doing drop off? I like not doing it. I always worry if she's gonna get emotional that she gets less emotional with you than me.

Yeah. So I thought it was better Yeah. For you to take her. Um, but she was fine anyway. Yeah. So it didn't you, you didn't miss having the experience of doing the first school run? No. I, I don't mind. See you're not, we're both a little bit kind of detached. Well, I'm Why she'll go to school again the next day.

I'm more like, I think I always wanna make things special for her. So if she'd wanted me to go, I'd gone back. Ah, I see. I'm not someone one to be like, oh, I have to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's, it's not special for us. So, I mean, I think her leaving nursery was more emotional. Yeah. Yeah. I wasn't that emotional about her starting school.

Oh, okay. Um, but I think that's maybe because also I was quite confident she'd be happy. Yes. Yeah. So I took her to school. I was pleased that she walked to school. Yeah, it's a, it's a little way for us. Um, not a massive walk, but for Lily, I was like, also, now we've got used to doing it. It's pretty quick.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. But like Lily is not a big walker, as people will know from the start of the episode. Yeah. The start of the episode, we had the story. I don't like walking. I like walking. I was very worried this was gonna be our trip. Yeah. In every day to school. Uh, but fortunately at that point it was all very novel and exciting.

So, which was quite exciting. So we walked to school, um, and yeah, it went as smoothly as I could hope. And I know, I, I apologize in advance that, that this has been fairly smooth sailing for us. 'cause I, you know, we've talked to a lot of bums. Yeah. We see it at the school door that it can be horrendous.

Traumatic. Yeah. Very traumatic. That a lot of kids really struggle. Going again. Yeah. Crying all the time. Um, not just on the first day. Yeah. But continuing and I don't know, you know. We have been successful. I don't know if we have any particular advice or if it is just Lily's personality. Well, this is, I wanna be like, oh, we put a lot of work into reading the books and stuff, but I think part of it, your child either feels ready or they don't.

Yeah. And, uh, nothing you can really do, like, try your best about reading books about school and making it exciting, but. Think when it comes down to it, it's up to the kid and their personality, isn't it? Yeah. I'm not, I can't even say that it's like a girl boy split. No, because there's been plenty of, you know, that, that doesn't seem to be a trend.

No. True. Um, and and Lily is a summer born, so she's definitely not like, no, she's at the older end of the, it is not like she's, I think she is kind of quite mature, but like she is Yeah. She's one of the younger ones. She is. Yeah. Um, so I really don't know what. Makes it what, what's no. You know? But she was quite happy.

She was happy to see a teacher. She was happy to go in. Yeah. Um, I will say funny, funny story. I dunno how it works at your child's school, but like often there's a peg, they go and hang their book bag and their coat up on a peg is the idea. Yeah. Um, I know what, it might take a while for the kids to understand where that is or what to do and it's a bit chaotic on the first day.

Oh, I have found out their book bags are meant to go there. Oh, are they? Yes. Okay. So it turns out she's right Partly, uh, but not the coat. Not the coat. Okay. So this is where this story's going is I watched her kind of through the window. A lot of us parents were kind of hanging around just checking as the kids went in, you know, and I kind of expected her to go and hang her coat up on a peg.

We had a big talk about you go and you put your coat on the peg and Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She was directed, uh, with like a kind of teaching assistant, I think, if I remember rightly, to where her drawer was. Uh, which you rightly say is where her book bag is meant to live. Um. As it would with me. I think this kind of threw Lily 'cause she was expecting to go and hang her coat up.

Um, so I stood there for like a good five minutes watching Lily try and stuff, her coat and her book bag and her water bottle into this tiny little plastic sliding drawer that was hers. Like I was just sat there like, Lily, I really don't think all those things are gonna go in there. I just, she didn't go and like ask or just, she was just by herself stuffing everything in quite, quite happily.

Stood there just stuffing the coat into the drawer. I think you said she'd get it all in. She did. I, any guy who was like, well it's definitely not where that stuff with men live. Yeah. It really amuse me though. Just it was such a funny image. Um, anyway, yeah. Uh, so I came home and then, uh, we you went back at the end of the day to pick her up.

Yeah. She was perfectly happy. The only mishap we had is that I, um, started my period midway through walking to pick her up. Oh, I did not know this. So, no, I remember being very stressed because I was like, I'm pretty sure period. Started got Lola with me. So like I'm rushing with the pram. Yeah. Um, and then I was like, parents are gonna think I'm really weird 'cause I keep kind of trying to look.

Sneakily at my crotch to be like, it's a blood coming through. Like, how bad is it? Because you know, dear know it starts and it's a little bit, I'm like, oh, it's okay. Yeah, it'll get soaked up. It'll be fine. But I was like, I don't, I can't tell. I can't tell how bad it is. So I remember being quite stressed.

She was fine and I was trying to be really happy for her and be like, oh, how was your day? Let's go. But I was also like, we need to go home. Like we need to go now. Yeah. Yeah. So like when they were like, oh, we'll get your kids to, in my head I was like, I need her here now. I need to have her now. I need to get home because I need to get to a toilet.

Well, anyway, Lily was great. Got home. It was very stressful for me. Yeah. I don't think anyone would've noticed. I must say the whole pick up and drop off is a lot more chaotic. Oh yeah. Than I had first envisaged because with another street it's quite civilized. You ding the bell, they bring your kid. Yeah, yeah.

Even if there's a queue of you, they do it one by one, you get a little debrief. School is like, there's a hodgepodge of kind of a cue that forms. The teacher just brings out a kid and goes like, looks to see if the parent's there. Yeah. It just kind of generally they gather the kids in and then they kind of generally spew them back out at the end of the day.

Let's talk about then the adjustment, particularly for us, and then I think we can get onto the adjustment for Lily and how she's coped. Um, the adjustment for us is about, you know, the difference in rhythm and pattern from nursery. So there's, there's a couple of things to pick up here. I mean, just like the little things I suppose to begin with.

Um, like there's no app anymore. We're not, we're used to getting like updates and pictures. Photos throughout the day. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing. Yeah. And like. As we began on that first week, um, the school are amazing, but like the administration and communication isn't always amazing. There's a lot of times when I feel like the parents were all kind of going, what, what are we gonna be doing?

What's going on? Like, I remember when we first started, the first couple of days, we weren't even quite sure what time she was gonna be there or what time she was gonna be picked up. No, it's true, true. Like we knew it would be roughly around nine o'clock and roughly around three o o' three O'. They were like, but what, what time do we actually, yeah.

And I remember like looking on the website, like it doesn't say when school finishes, what time do I go? And luckily, like we have two other, a few other mum friends, I was like, what time are you going? Does anybody know what time we finish? And you do get a lot of emails, which I'm quite good 'cause I read them and make notes and me like, oh, this is what we have to do.

But I can see for like a lot of parents. It's a lot of emails. Like a lot of parents didn't realize what day was because obviously I hadn't read the email it was sent out. Yeah. So like we were some of the only people Yeah. Send her in a PE kit. I think this is, I think the information is usually there somewhere.

Yeah. But it's like buried in one thing. Like we eventually found the start and finish times in like a, a, a leaflet that we've been given at one of the taster days. Yeah. But like that was the only time that information had been communicated to us. Yes. And we're like, we didn't go to a taster day. I dunno how you'd have found out.

Um, yeah, so like, it, it's often we have been told, but like Yeah, I think it needs reiterating 'cause and the email has like a link for each year, so like a document for each year. Oh, right. Okay. So I thought is. If you were looking, you'd be like, that's a lot. I might not read it right now if you didn't realize what it's for.

And that kind of thing. You know, life's life's busy. Yeah. And I just think people don't, 'cause it's not on an app. Uh, we do though. This is more news. There is the ABA app. Right. I think other schools might have that. So, you know, I'm, I'm a dad. I'm not involved in any of this. Tell tell me what this app is.

Oh, sorry. Uh, says their attendance tells you if there's gonna be a trip and it has, um, lunch. So the lunch options. Yes. That's what I click on the lunch options and choose what she can have. So that's different for us from Yeah. You know, a little different from nursery that we get to pick her lunch options.

Yeah. So you get to put in, um, what every day there's a slight different choice. I mean, there's always jacket potato and there's always pasta, thankfully. Yeah. So that means Lily will always have something she likes. Um, but it's good. There's like promise. The menu changes week on week. So some weeks I'm like, oh, she'd like everything.

This week I, yeah. Got a big choice. Other weeks I'm like, we're just gonna have jack of potato today. Pasta tomorrow, jacked potato the next day because, and the food, you know, like we are used to nursery where she would then get like an afternoon meal. I mean, it'd be like four o'clock, but they did, they did treat it a bit like an evening meal.

Yeah. That, you know, it was more food. So it is different now that we, you know, we pick her up and we're now like, ah, we need like a, a proper meal tonight. We need to cook. Yeah. I mean, we always fed her again, but like on nursery days we were used to her being pretty full. Yeah. Just having a little snack once you got in.

Yeah. Yeah. So just slight differences, you know, different routine that you just get used to. Uh, but let's talk about the big one. The school day. Oh yeah. It finishes so early. Very early. So we're used to nursery where it's like 4, 4 30 is the end of the day. And that that's quite early for us. Like Yeah, it is.

Yeah. Yeah. We work flexibly and from home and like we don't need her to be in really late hours. Hours. We know plenty of friends and family and people who had them until 5, 5, 5, 6. But to suddenly be like, it gets to Hoppers two and I'm like, oh, we need to start getting ready to walk to, to school. Yeah. We need to like, because we need to get her drink and a snack.

'cause she has to have a drink. And people know you do pick up, you have to have a drink and a snack with you. Yeah. We have to get our, you know, our 10 month old ready. Yeah. We have to get the push air ready, you know, takes 20 minutes to walk. Yeah. Um, so basically like an hour before you're like, right. And you start, you start getting my head in into again and get everything ready because, but I'm like half past two.

I'm like, it's halfway through the day. Yeah. Like, when am I middle work? And then it's get then you're like, right. Need to get there for three. Yeah. I've lost like an hour and a half. Yeah. Easily two hours from the day. That's why he likes ballet days because I take her to ballet. So you get, you get a claw back some time.

I mean, and that's our situation where, you know, yeah, I'd, I'd like now stay up a bit later at night and stuff and try and squeeze stuff in around. I mean, I haven't found a good solution really yet. I'm still working on this. But like for other people that work nine to fives or like more regular patterns of work that work from an office, I, I don't dunno how you do it.

Well I think you'd have rely on grandparents and it is after school clubs and stuff. Yeah. Um, yeah. Which you could do. So, but again, it, it'd be such a, we, we've discussed this, haven't we? Mm-hmm. We, we might, it, we might put her in, in know some of them. Yeah. But it would just be such a big, it's already a big transition starting school to immediately go to then the after.

I mean I suppose you'd have to, wouldn't you? But you would. Yeah, but we, yeah, it would be so tough on the kids. We were like, we're not doing it till we're sure she settled and happy and then we could start introducing afterschool club. Um, 'cause we thought it was too much, you know, too much too soon to do everything all at once.

Is there anything else that's been a change for us? Uh, how, how has it, how has it been? So I did make a lot of friends, um. Uh, nursery, but I think it's more sociable school. 'cause you're all there dropping off together. Mm. You've made a lot of mum friends. So I, I've made quite a lot of mum friends because also Lily's made friends and I've had to learn their names, so Yeah.

But it means I, there's quite a few people 'cause you see them most mornings, most afternoons. Yeah. You get to know them fairly well. Yeah. And you see basically. There's a lot of other moms who have young babies, so we sit and talk 'cause we've all brought 'em with us. Yeah. You know, so I think you get to know people a lot quicker.

Yeah. Um, unless you're a man or a dad like me who kind of just stands there awkwardly and silently. Well obviously I say hello. Hello. There'll be some social that's, you know, I madly, I haven't met one at, at school, but I'm sure there are some. Yeah. Me and, uh, two Lily's friends, we like walk back together so you get a good little mom chatting as you're walking back.

It's just been very strange. Really. You know, just seeing Lily go to school in her uniform every day. She looks so grown up in a uniform like you. You just, I feel like we've really hit that transition now where. I mean, it's been coming on for a while, but like, she's not a toddler? No. She's like, she's like a little child.

She's a, you know, her own person. She's just so grown up and Yeah. It's just, yeah. It's funny isn't, she comes out a very thoughtful thing as well sometimes, and you're like, huh, didn't know you thought about such things. And maybe that, you know, it might not be a, a sort of thing that you have to adapt to.

If, for example, you know, you've been in a school nursery Yeah, true. Um, preschool or something like that, where you are already in a uniform or like you're already on the same site as the school. Like, some of those things. But for us, it, it has it's felt like a bit of a jump. Yeah. Yeah. Um, 'cause we were at the nursery where she used to go as a baby.

Mm-hmm. And now suddenly we're at a big school. Yes. Yeah. And like that's kind of. It's fun, you know, it's quite exciting to see her like, and it's nice, she's very proud of her school. Like yeah, she likes looking at the big building and when I'm bigger I'm gonna go to the big building. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it, it is nice 'cause I was worried if she didn't like school, it would make it very difficult.

Where it's nice to see her quite happy and proud of the school she goes to. Let's talk about the transition for Lily than how she's coped with it. I mean, like I say, on the whole, on the whole pretty good, pretty well, like better than some of our friends who've had real challenges we're, we're quite lucky that she's really enjoyed all of it so far.

Really. Um. So, 'cause p was one of my worries because she's not the most, if people normally do, not the most coordinated or sporty child. No. Um, but she's taken to p well she said she likes doing, apparently they do a lot of climbing. Mm. Um, there is more physical activity. Yeah. I dunno. I think maybe at nursery, like they did do that, but like, well it's less children and less space, so Yeah.

A lot of the boys would run around, but she could choose to go and sit Yeah. And do a different activity if she wanted to. Yeah. Whereas here now it's kind of more encouraged. It does mean that in the first three days, I think, every day. Oh yes. She had, she came home having fallen over. Yeah. And like we, we had holes in our tights.

Yeah. Every day. Yeah. I remember we had a big thing about me, like, you know, you tell the teacher when you fall over because you'd be like, oh yeah, I fell over my knee bled, but I was fine. And I was like, well you do need to tell someone about that. Um, so she was very good. The next issue fell over and, but we got a email home being like accident report.

Yeah. Uh, so she did tell her teacher so she was good. Yeah. I mean, it does mean we bought all these school clothes and then end of the first week and we're like, well that's three pairs of tights in the bin. Um, which to me says the tights weren't great quality. Not calling anyone out, but male. And you should do better.

They should be better tights. So now we've got some different types as well. We mentioned, uh, earlier in the episode about like uniform and stuff, and I'll worry about her transition with that, but Okay. I mean, yeah. I think it's slowly getting harder as the weeks went on and it dawned on her that like, oh, I have to wear this every day.

Yeah. The novelty wore off and she more and more realized the things she couldn't do. Yeah. So she was like, I can't have funny colored things in my hair and I can't have my nails done. And one day she was like, I'd like to wear this makeup. And I was like, you can't. Mm-hmm. Um, what I do now is, which is bitch cheeky.

I'm like, look, you can put. Lipstick on just 'cause she didn't have real lipsticks. She just have like lip glossy stuff and I'm like, put it on. No one's gonna know if fine. Mm-hmm. And it, it is really difficult. I mean, we'll come to it in in a second 'cause we need to talk about Fridays, but, um, if you've come across or heard our episode about flexi schooling and part-time school, um, you'll know some of our thoughts about the education system, but like trying to answer Lily's questions about some of this stuff.

Like why do I have to wear this uniform? Why can't I wear a bow in my hair? Yeah. Why can't I have nail varnish? Like, it's really challenging for us 'cause we're, it's, we don't really agree with a lot of the rules and you can't go, well mommy and daddy don't think, we think it's silly anyway. 'cause that's not gonna convince her to do it.

Yeah. So you have to be like, well this is just, this is just the rules. And I'm often like, I think it's to try and help you learn. And she's like, well, how? And I'm like, I dunno. Yeah. Dunno. What helps you learn sleep. She's a, a typical, you know, person of this age where every question is answered with why.

Yeah. Why, why, why, um, goes on forever. But in this case it is challenging. 'cause you get to a point where I, I really don't know how to answer this. How to justify it. Yeah. 'cause this is what our education system and the school says has to happen. We don't know why. It seems silly to us too. I, I get, I get the, um, nail vantage one because I do think like.

If they have a swimming pool at school. If they go swimming, it's, it is bad for bacteria and stuff, but like I get that, I mean, they don't go swimming in the first year, but Sure. No, but like they have to get used to them ready for the next year. Yeah. So I, I'm fine with that. Yeah. My main thing is I'm like, why not cool hair stuff?

Yeah. Yeah. Like once again, I get kids could be jealous, but I'm like, kids can be jealous of anything. Like Yeah. Yeah. Like I just, yeah. Anyway. No, it's not a thing that we should get annoyed about, but you know. Mm-hmm. We both really don't think there's any need for uniform. Yeah. Especially 'cause it's, our school's very good, but a lot of schools, they make it very expensive.

It can be very expensive. Kind of, even our school, you don't need. Um, like you only need the cardigan or the jumper to have the logo on and mm-hmm. You don't really need anything else like that. It's still quite expensive. Yeah. Yeah. Because you have to like, get certain dresses and even getting like supermarket stuff, I would say easily cost us probably 200 pounds.

Yeah. Like to kit her out for everything, particularly because she's so young. Uh, we wanted a, a uniform for every day that she's in. Yeah. Because I'm like, if it gets dirty, we don't have to watch it the night before. Yeah. Um, yeah. I'm sure as they get older we might be able to Yeah. Like reduce the number of items we need, but like Yeah.

Even buying basic items, uh, and because you're equipping around with a whole wardrobe. Yeah. Again, as you get older, maybe this is less mm-hmm. You know, but initially. Like, like shoes. Yeah. We need new shoes. You need tights, you need the dress. It is not just one thing on one set. And you need like the P kit, the P shoes, the, yeah, a book bag, a pee bag.

And of course the other major one is um, behavior. Yeah. And how they cope and as we've already alluded to, like it is very tiring for them. Very tiring. Yeah. Just, you know, even though the day is shorter than she's used to, I think it's like you're man managing a lot of other people. Yeah. So she's not used to that many people.

It's a lot of emotions like kind of trying to control yourself in that setting because of quite overwhelming. Yeah. You know. Oh, I think, I think it's quite time. I remember the second week, because you know, with nursery, she didn't go in full time. She was in three days a week. Yeah. And so we got to Wednesday and this is the first time ever where she's gone back to the same place three days in a row.

Yeah. And she was kind of like, I'm going back again. No, I think, and then she would, to me, do I go forever. She liked school, but I liked in her head she was like. Does this buy this for eternity? Like am I, yeah. Going in to the everyday all and you can now you can see the behavior deteriorate. Like Mondays are pretty good.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Get to Wednesday then Thursday things are really beginning to look down, but like, just 'cause it, it is exhausting. Yeah. And like it's hard work and she, she wants a break. Like Yeah. Five days in school is too much at this age. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. Um, to be, you know, Frank, I like as a 4-year-old, I don't really feel like they should be in school.

I mean, I would say. It's very good at our school, they basically just do playing. Yeah. It's like they're not sat at desks. No. It's very like, I'm very impressed with what they do with them. Like Yeah. And, and she's having a lovely time. And, and it's interesting because I was talking to only of the mums and I was like, oh, she's really been talking about how, what letters she's been doing.

Um, and they were like, oh yeah, I think it's 'cause they get to choose. So it's nice she's been choosing to do letters because she was saying her little boy hasn't chosen to do anything like that. He's just like, been playing. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so I was like, oh, it's, it's nice she's chosen to do something. Yeah.

They have a choice of what they can do in the day. So we're very happy with all that. Yeah, we are. Yeah. But like. Even so like five days a week to be at school. Yeah. It's just, and it means I, in the evenings and at weekends, we are really trying to enforce, having lots of downtime. Yeah. Because which is hard 'cause our weekend get booked up very fast with trying to meet people and hang out and she's been having a lot of tantrums.

She has. Do you wanna explain, you know, like one of the things is she then rebels out against Oh, yes. You know, so most weekends now she wants to wear a costume. Yeah. Now she only wants to wear princess dresses because before she had a lot more say of what she bought every day. So it was less extreme. She could wear just kind of pretty fun things every day.

But like. You know, almost like a smattering. Whereas now she's like, it's the weekend. I'm dressing full princess mode. I'm having every bit of jewelry on me. I'm having my hair done the way I like and the main makeup the way I like because I don't get to do that during the week. Yeah. Uh, which I completely understand.

So I'm very forgiving. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, sure. Like I get you've kind of been almost suppressed. Yeah. Or, but on the know you, but the occasions where we need her to do something well, we're gonna be practical. Yeah. Like, you know, let's wear some pajamas in bed or Yeah. Pajamas. We need to wear some sensible shoes out in the wet weather.

Yeah. Like anything like that, she's really pushing back against the authority of it because she doesn't get that ability to express herself during the week. Yeah. Sorry. Being room once again, I've been very kind with like pajamas. I'm like, wear pair of shorts. Where like your, um, dressing gown, that can be your pajamas.

Like, I'm very open to wearing odd assortments of things as long as she agrees to wear 'em. I wouldn't say it's helped. Like Yeah, she's still had a lot of meltdowns. She has, yeah. Like is about putting pajamas on, just who knows what it's about. I think she's just overwhelmed. Like it can be the silliest little thing and you're sort of like, why are we having a fight about this?

Why are you screaming again? Like just, oh, it's, it's, September has certainly been challenging. Mm-hmm. But mostly because of that, but not because of school itself, but the repercussions that then kind of come into daily life because of this new thing. Because a lot of it I kept being like, oh, well maybe it's a sickness book.

She was, I, I, mm-hmm. Like, you know, I kept kind of giving excuses and I was like, I think she's just, she just kind of gets to kind of a point where she's like, I'm too tired. I'm overwhelmed. I'm now gonna, when I get home, I'm just gonna kind of. I want my way or the highway, basically. I, I wanna tell 'em what I wanna do and I wanna do nothing.

Yeah. Because I can't, I don't do that in any setting now. Yeah. Yeah. I think it will improve as she gets used to it. Yeah. But it is just tough for her right now.

So Fridays, um, if you're not familiar, we do things slightly differently. Um, and we have said to the school, we want to do part-time at school before she hits compulsory school age. So before she turns five. Um, you are not legally required no. To be in school. Yeah. Um, it's a bit complicated. Um, so what, what is it?

There's three dates during the year. So it's the term after they turn five, the term after they turn five. So not if they. Like turn five midterm. You don't have to suddenly send them. You can wait till the end of the term. Yeah. That is when they hit compulsory school age. Yeah. And they have to be in school.

Exactly. Um, if you have a summer baby like us, then it means for a lot, well, for us, all ours. Ours is a whole Yeah. For the entire first year of reception. But she doesn't have to till she's in. She doesn't legally have to be in school. And the school can't find you. No, they can't. There's nothing they can do.

I say that some, they might put up a fine, some schools make it very difficult. Yeah. We were very lucky. Our school's being completely fine with it. Like some other schools purposely, mark is in absence and mess up the attendance record, which our school's good. They've just said like, she's in the day she's meant to be in.

So it's a hundred percent attendance. So we did our podcast about flexi schooling, um, about a year ago. Yeah. So this has been something we've been mulling over for a long time and always intended to do. Yeah. So it was a decision we made jointly, um, that we, we thought was the best thing for Lily. It does make.

Work and stuff complicated for us, but we think it's best for Lily and it means every Friday she doesn't go into school. Yeah. And we told the school this is what we were gonna be doing. And they were, they were probably, they were okay with it. Yeah. Um, they didn't ask us to do anything like, and some schools are like, what you doing with them?

They've been really kind of open about just Yeah, you're fine. Yeah. Yeah. Um, um, and but it, I mean that's in a formal way. We have a regular rhythm, but it does mean if your child is struggling or if for example, you want to go on holiday. Yeah. You should be aware because you can go Yeah. Yeah. And not be fine.

And not be fine. Yeah. Don't worry about it. Don't stress about it. Once you get, once your child is five, then well, and that's the next term. That's a different thing. So the minute make make the most of it basically. Yeah. Definitely make the most of it. If you, if you wanna take them out for something, like you're like, oh, there's a nice thing we wanna go to, just, just do it.

Yeah. They can't do anything about it. So to some extent Fridays are that for us. Yeah. They are an opportunity for Lily to decompress. Yeah. As we've already said, like five days a week is a lot for any 4-year-old. Yeah. And so we felt it was best to have a day where she could, could just relax. There's no need for us to do things on those days.

No. But we have been doing stuff with her. We have, yeah. We like to use it as an opportunity to kind of. Almost, I would say learn things or do a form of education that you wouldn't get at school. Um, you know, similar to homeschooling. Yeah. Where it's a, a different style of education. So, so far we've been to um, dig in York, which is like learning about archeology and she really actually liked that and I was very impressed 'cause she knowledge, they showed her like a skeleton and they're like, what do you think this was?

And she was like a monkey. And I was like, that's really clever because like human skeletons, we are very similar to monkeys. That was good knowledge on her part. And then last week we went to an art class together. I mean, the first week we just bake a cake and took her swimming because we just wanted her to relax.

And then last we went to an art class together, me and Lily, and she loved it. That was really good. Made a little sketchbook. You you say, just, but like doing cooking and doing swimming, they're all very, you know, oh, it's, yeah, I just meant it wasn't like a pre-planned thing as much. Oh, true. Yeah. I mean, you have a whole list of things you are gonna do with the, to take, oh, I literal, this is when I was worried the school were gonna have a problem.

I made a huge list on my phone of things that we're gonna do. Yeah. Um, which I wanna do anyway, but I remember thinking this would help justify my reasons of what I wanna do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, never had to use them. Yeah. Yeah. But, um, so like museums, educational things. Yeah. So for instance, um, leagues, armory, they have jousting, um, one month a year and I was like, oh, when they have that we'll go and see it.

Yeah. Yeah. Like be a great opportunity. Um, so stuff like that. Yeah. Stuff that I know that's happening or certain museums that are gonna have certain exhibits and the things you can go to that will be quieter on a Friday. Exactly. That would be really busy on a weekend. And like, so our next thing I think I'm building us up to do is we wanna go to the mosques.

We had to rearrange that 'cause she was sick. Yeah. Um, and my other thing is we're gonna go to York Chocolate Story where you learn the history of chocolate making. Yeah. Yeah. And you get to make something. Yeah. So just exploring like Yeah. Religions and churches, exploring activities that people put on for kids.

Yeah. All sorts of different things. I take a much more casual approach to it, but I think that's good. Like it's good to have, 'cause you just generally take her swimming, which is a good skill to have while, while it's sunny I want to do, like, go out like into the forest and do some nature stuff, um, before the weather gets too wintery.

Um, but yeah, I think I want to keep up the swimming 'cause it's something I want her to, to learn. And we, we've not been good at doing regular swimming. And it also means when she starts next year, she'll kind of have swimming under her belt a bit for when she does swimming at school, so it's not scary.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, and we'll do other sort of vaguely educational things, fun things, whereas I'm just gonna like, get in a car and like true. Like where could we go date? Like go to a national trust place. I like to also give Lily the option of being like, should we get a bus or a train? How would you like to get there?

Yeah. Like, so for instance, the art thing yesterday I was like, we can walk, we can get a bus, we can get a train. What thing is the most fun? Hmm. So she chose like to get a, see I think also to give her the freedom for her to choose how we're doing. Yeah. Yeah. So she like was like, let's get the train there.

And then on the way back I was like, do you wanna get the train home or the bus home? Do you wanna get the bus? So I was like, it's good. It's nice to give her some. Control back. Yeah. Yeah. What she wants to do. And when the weather gets really bad, I'm sure, you know, we might do some indoor activities. Yeah.

And we are very used to putting together like, activity packs. Yeah. And making like fun interactive things to do at home that we, she could engage with. Um, so yeah, like. That's what we do on Fridays. Yeah. And it was nice. The art class went to like the, there was some older ladies and the lady teaching, it was nice.

And they were so interested in like part-time school and they were like, oh, what a good idea. It's so nice you can go. Things like this. 'cause I was saying, oh, like maybe in a couple of months we'll come to the art class again because, you know, it's nice for her to do it again. Just, we won't be here every week because we do a variety of things.

And it was nice that other people were like, oh, that's such a good idea. Like, why don't, why isn't this more of a thing? And I was like, well, people don't know you can do it. Yeah. People, people don't know do they? Um, just why we share it on the podcast. Yeah.

I don't know if you ever did what I asked you to do, which was to check with some of your friends about sharing stories, but there have been some funny stories. I haven't No. That, um, but I can share some of Becky's. As well, or anonymously, I dunno how I would say it. Yeah. Anonymously. But like, because we've had a fairly smooth transition.

Um, I just wanted to share that other people have painful transitions. Oh yeah. And like some of the like in hindsight, funny stories that emerge, um, from that to reassure people that it's perfectly normal for Yeah. This to be a difficult time. Well, it's like, um, so Becky sing, uh, is her, it's not attending school related, but Becky, your sister in France.

My sister in France. People who are playing along. We've said it taking a long time. This episode though. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so her youngest is started at the child minders, but she was gone on a hunger strike at the child minders. Oh. Which I also found out some other friends had the same problem with their kids at school.

Right. Where they just refused to eat. So Becky said she asked to meet Alia. From the Childminders with her food and as soon as Alia is with her, she'll stuff her face because she starved herself like she's dying to eat. And Becky said it's the same stuff. It could literally be the stuff, 'cause Becky makes the food to give the child minders.

Yeah. It's not that the child minders made the food. Yeah. It's the same food. Eats at home, presents it to her, refuses to eat it. Mm-hmm. Will not eat it at all. And she's there for a while. Yeah. Like I think she's there longer than most kids are at school. Yeah. And she's like, she'll drink, but she will not eat.

Refuses. And we heard this story from one of your friends about school as well, that they Yeah. The child won't eat, they just don't eat anything at school. Yeah. Refuse. It's like, ah, that, that would be very worrying. And it's tricky, isn't it? Because you'd be like, well, how do you, how do you make 'em? Can't really.

You're like, what could you do? Yeah. Like, yeah. So I think that's, that's a challenge. And we've seen like a few children, so like one of Lily's little friends was getting quite overwhelmed a bunch times. I talked to Lily, me and her mom, and they were like, can you please sit with her? And now Lily sits with her.

Yeah. And the friends sit with her. She's a lot happier. Yeah. And I don't know why they weren't sat together before. They're good little friends, but I think the rush of lunch maybe just got the better of them. And they didn't always sit next to each other. I felt so sorry for them when I, I heard like they're saying like, oh, she just, she just goes into lunch and just sits and cries.

Yeah. And it was like, oh, bless. Yeah. That's so like, so difficult I think. 'cause it's not just. Receptionist reception year one and year two. So it's a lot of people going into lunch. Yeah, it's quite a big thing. Yeah. Um, but it's fine now. 'cause Lily always sits with her and finds her now. But I remember just being like the little girl this morning.

She was so cute. Lily was saying, oh, and then the mum was like, remember Lily? Can you see it with her at lunch? Because quiet, uh, you can edit that out, so and so will cry. Uh, and the little girl was going, I don't cry anymore.

Like really proud of us. I like, I don't cry anymore. I'm fine, mom. That's funny. And she was like, oh, okay. They go. But could you still sit with her? Lily? Lily was going, yes. I'll, yeah. Yeah. But every, we laughed at it. She was like, I'll mom, I'm over it. Yeah. We've had to employ Lily now to like ferry people.

Yeah. Into school. Yeah. Uh, because she's quite comfortable. It was like one week, the teacher was so sweet. One day rather, not one week, but it was one week. This happened anyway. Yeah. Yeah. We understand. We understand. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um, and I, I remember just got in, we'd already had a big thing about your little friend is sat at lunch, make sure you sit with her.

So she was already like, yeah, yeah. I'll sit with her mom. Anyway, five minutes later, one of her friends turned up, I'd been talking to him, so I hadn't left yet, and they wouldn't go in. I, and I was going, oh, are you? Um, so I, I dunno, I'll, I'll call 'em Amber. It's not their real name, but I'll make it up. Wow.

We're creating names now. Sure. Thought I'll use a different one because I can't go so and so all the time. It gets confusing. Yeah. Yeah. Just confusing though. 'cause that is a name of other friends, but they were at nurseries, so you pretend. Yeah. And I was like, oh, are you Amber? Because helpfully, um, oh, we haven't even mentioned this, but there's a, a day you could go and see them in school in like this last hour.

Oh yeah. So I've met a few of her friends and learned their names. So I was going, oh, are you Amber? Your friends were Lily? And then they went, oh yes. Yeah. We hear a lot about Lily and I was going, do you want me to get Lily? So she'll. Bring you in. 'cause the little girl is really cry. And I went, yeah, that would be good.

And she'd going, mm-hmm. Yeah, I'll go in with Lily. I was like, okay. So now I was like knocking in the window because she's already gone in Lily, Lily. And Lily was like, yes. I was like, your little friend Amber, she wants you to hold her hand to go in. So Lily was good. She came out, she held hand. I just love this image of you, like banging on the glass, the school classroom going, then five minutes, Lily, get back out here.

You need to bring the kids in. I'd say five minutes, five seconds later, another of her little friends came in. Very sad. This is the little boy that her, she's been friends with who we met beforehand. Yeah. He was looking sad and I was like, Lily. Lily, come back. Come back. Your friend sat here, you've got another friend to bring in.

And she looked at me like, oh, you could tell because she liked a little boy. It was because I was once again, like, come on. And she was like, okay. Okay. Came out, helped him go in. He was still a bit sad. He wasn't as quiet as emboldened as a little girl had been, but he still went in. But he went through the door.

He went through the door willingly. Yes. Not having to be dragged in. Not having dragged. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um, I feel so bad for the teachers when they have to like drag the kids in. It must be so difficult. And then a teacher came up and she was, I think I need to hire Lily just to bring people in. I was laughing and then I was going to Lily remember to sit near the little girl at lunch and she was like, I know mom.

I think she was like, goodness, what she gonna have me do now. Yeah. Because I, she'd been, she was sat happy playing away with something and I'm like, Lily. Come get so and so. Yeah. But yeah, mom's like, well, it's the best way to do it, isn't it? Like not showing off that Lily can like, is all confident but like at least we're utilizing this to help other children to get over their, their worries getting through the door.

I dunno why the door is because a lot of them, like they're fine once they're in. Yeah. Something about going through the door. I suppose it's leaving your parents, isn't it? A few, the parents were telling me this. They said they would arrive, run, and play in the playground. Not near their parents at all.

Completely happy. Yeah. Then it got to the moment where they're like, come here, you're going in. Yeah. And then they'd break down. Yeah. And they'd be like, you've been playing not near me with your friends, completely fine. But now you've got to come here. Just, I think it's like they know that's the kind of the final step or you, you know Yeah.

The psychology of children's brains. Yeah. You know, it's what it is. Um, but yeah. So she's done well. We've been using her to help other children. So, um, if in a year's time parents are listening to this as they approach starting school for their own children, what, uh, tips or advice have we got or what are the takeaways from this episode?

Well, I think what's helped Lily is she's got some little friends to walk in with. Yeah. So she really liked meeting up with them now to walk. I think that's nice for them. Like we did reading loads of books about it, I think helped just get in their head that this is happening and this is what like normal school day looks like and.

I think for Lily, 'cause she's always liked books. It's just been another way for her to learn stuff. Yeah. And get comfortable with it. Like we said, playing like kind of school with the dolls and stuff. Role play. Role play with that. That's really helped. Yeah. Um, I'll be honest, what's really helped Lily is because Lola's gonna start nursery and for some reason Lily was like, well of course I can't go to nursery if Lola does.

Yeah. I mean, I see. So she's like, it's a one in one out system. Yeah. Where she's like, well, Lola's starting nursery. That must mean I'm kicked out of nursery. Well, and I didn't know, she thought like, well I'm, I'm much older and wiser than her, so if she starts nursery, I can't possibly be there. Like, I don't know what it was about it.

We've played into this, but it has helped that. Yeah. Like Lily likes to be a big girl. She does. She likes to play, play into that. Like leave the big sister. So like by saying like, oh this is what big girls do. Yeah. They go to school. Like that's, you know, it's helpful. Um, I do think, I mean, it's difficult to know how much each individual thing contributes, but I keep being like, did any of that help or is it just.

You know, I, I think like the taster days and seeing the school Oh yeah. Helped an awful lot. Like just not having that fit. It's not going to a completely unknown place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She has seen it. She's familiar with it. Yeah. I remember her coming home and like telling me all about it. Like, daddy, there's an area where you can paint at school.

There's this area where we can sit on the floor. There's like, this is where you play Lego. This is where the chairs are and the Lego is. And I was like, that sounds lovely, Lily. Yeah. And so she knew the setting. Uh, I think it's really difficult if you've not had an opportunity. Yeah. Not for you, but for your child to go in and see it.

Well, I like when it was, um, just the parents thing to go in. I remember when I went, she went, mommy, can you take lots of photos? Because she knew I'd be seeing it. Yeah. Which was actually I think already helpful for me to just show her pictures and be like, this is the bit, because I did what she, you know, like an over in singing parent.

I was like, this is where you sit, this is where you do this. Like probably a hundred pictures of different things. Yeah. For her to see. Yeah. Yeah. Um. Which obviously once again, you might not get that opportunity, but I think even before she went, she then had an idea of what things looked like and it was fun to go.

That's like the thing at Bluey school. Yeah. Like they had one of these things and I having a reference point for it is, yeah. Is helpful, isn't it? I'm not sure it's helped. Like a lot of us, uh, you know, I see in the playground, we try the thing where dads come and do drop off. Yeah. And see if that helps. Um, I wouldn't say it's particularly successful.

No. I was having a discussion this morning 'cause we were talking about how um, Lola's gonna start and you will do drop off because I'll find it too emotional because Lola will cry and she cries less with you. Yeah. Yeah. I was talking to somebody of the other moms and most of 'em said they're actually worse with the dance really?

Because they said they do it less often. So it's kind of more. Like painful because that person doesn't normally drop them off, so they almost find it weirder and harder to adjust to. Yes. In our situation, I've always done drop off with Lily. Exactly. It doesn't make it. That's quite typical. But yeah, I can see that.

If it's normally the mom that drops off, suddenly you start school and it's your dad dropping you off. Yeah. That's like another change they said. They said some of them tried that and it just backfired. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, something we've not mentioned. Sorry. This was meant to be like advice and tips. It's just descended into more stories of things that have not gone right.

Um. You know, I'm always interested seeing, it is not happened to us. 'cause Lola's quite little, but certainly I've seen parents there dropping off kids with siblings there. Mm. And the siblings have really struggled. Oh yeah. Seeing their older sibling go into school, which is true. That's, and they're of an age where they have a comprehension of what's going on or just, you know, know they're not gonna see them for the rest of the day.

Yeah. And that's a, they're really struggling with that. And I've, no, I've seen a few kids like that. Yeah. Taking a screaming younger sibling away. Yeah, true. That's hard as well. So. I dunno. Maybe in that circumstance think about whether it's sensible to take the whole family, but I'm like, what? Have, what have you have to Yeah.

You might plumber, you, you might have to. Yeah. Yeah. It's like when, when I pick Lily up, I'm like, well, I have to bring Loda. 'cause otherwise you, you aren't gonna get any work done Yeah. For that extra time. And we see lots of grandparents there are. Yeah. Drop off and pick up. Yeah. Um, just 'cause you have to Yeah.

Like again, like a TF two in the afternoon, like who like it by three o'clock? Who's off work to go and do PI mean that's why there's a lot of mums with babies there. Yeah. Because they're like on maternity. That's why, that's why I've got to know a lot of them Yeah. Are like, we're all doing off pick up the drop off because, or increasingly people like us who work flexibly and from home.

Yeah. But yeah, it's a real challenge. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what. Any of the solutions are to any of this we've muddled through. Yeah. This has been our story and it's gone surprisingly well, I'd say. Yeah. Yeah. Like we have our show melts down now, but meltdown meltdowns now, but I wouldn't say this is at all bad.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. We're like three weeks in we're we're getting there. Like certainly we're not over it. Like still every day there's plenty of children that are not happy going in. Oh yeah. Lily is still having meltdowns as you heard. Like she's struggling with it being tiring. Uh, I don't know. I don't know how long it takes to kind of properly settle.

Mm. But I think my problem is, I know it's not long till it's gonna be half term and I dunno what will happen then. Oh. If people don't know, Lily's never had. Holiday from school, she'd be like on holiday with us. Yeah, but a nursery, she goes all the time. Year round. Yeah. Yeah. You only have a week off or so for Christmas.

That's it. Yeah. She's never had a long period, so Halftime's not too bad, but I'm like, there's the Christmas holidays holiday. We'll have to cover this in a future episode, but this is challenges still to come coming up. Yeah. Challenges of the crit household, because I'm like coming up a childcare, but B, that's a long time to not be at school.

If you have school age children, you'll, you have to let us know. Like how do you, what do you do in half terms and holidays? Like I what? What do you, what do you do? What do people do? Um, I suppose again, grandparents probably come into play and it was like holiday clubs. Yeah. So our school does do a holiday club that I'm tempted by, so we'll see.

Interesting. All sorts of things to discuss. Well, thank you for sitting with us on the wall outside the school in the September sunlight. Chatting with us, with the parents as we wait for our children to appear from the school. Yep. This imaginary little scenario. Thanks for coming and chatting with us. I hope you've had fun listening to some of our stories.

We'd love to hear from you how things have been for you or wherever you are in this journey, whether it's in the future for you or your reminiscing about this time that happened in the past. Um, yeah, that's it. Um, do join us again for another episode very soon where we'll be chatting all about another topic related to babies and toddlers and under fives th this, this is the ending.

Yeah. We are a very professional podcast. Happy. Is that a question to our audience? See you. See you. See you soon. Don't wait. The baby. Sleep well. God bless.